he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
