Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
