The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
