He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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