wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you win again, gameday.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am never drinking with the goths again.
tell me about the eggs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
