I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
