If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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