Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The power of my boobs compel you
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
