we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
