weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
