Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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