This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
How's work?
Spinning.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
