It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
