Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
