Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
