is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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