is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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