Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
sarcasm needs its own font
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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