somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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