he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
