If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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