Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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