somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
