Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
