I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ugly people sure do ruin things
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
