He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
