windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
