Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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