Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
