I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
