Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
