I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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