did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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