I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she looked like the before picture.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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