you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize