I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
