You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
