so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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