Whod you bang
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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