Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
