Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
