THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
