sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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