You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
