If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize