the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
