Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
