Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
