ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
