Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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