we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
