You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
