I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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